Limiting beliefs are like stubborn weeds that have found their way into your garden. Weeds, like everything else, start small, but when left unchecked, they can grow and spread competing for nutrients and sunlight with the other flowers (your positive thoughts and aspirations) in your garden (your mind). These limiting beliefs can take various forms, such as self-doubt, fear of failure, or unchecked negative thoughts about yourself. In this article, we’ll discuss where they stem from, how to identify when they start forming, and how to overcome them.
Where Do Limiting Beliefs Stem From?
Limiting beliefs don’t just magically appear; they often trace their roots back to our past experiences, upbringing, and the stories we tell ourselves. Our brains are like sponges, soaking up every piece of information and forming beliefs based on our interpretation of events.
Emphasis on interpretation.
1. Childhood Conditioning
During your early years, your brain is super malleable, taking in everything it can. The beliefs you form at this stage often come from the influential figures in your life – parents, teachers, or even friends. If you were told you weren’t good enough or capable, it could go 1 of 2 ways. Those words could either turn into how you view yourself or you learn to challenge them by proving them wrong. Different people respond differently to this.
My dad was a master at this. If he ever wanted me to do something he would use reverse psychology on me, to prove to him I could do it. Whatever the challenge was, if he even hinted that he didn’t think I was able to do it, it became my 6-year-old’s life mission to prove him wrong.
2. Past Failures
Have you ever made a decision so confidently only for it to come around and smack you right back in the face? Relatable for anyone who has ever done anything worthwhile. Your past failures, though painful, often contribute to the creation of limiting beliefs. If you don’t properly dissect these experiences and learn from them, they can become heavy baggage you carry into your future.
What happens is that you unknowingly create a precedent in your mind that you shouldn’t do anything similar to your past failures to protect yourself. However, instead of viewing failures as confirmation of a limiting belief, you can choose to see them as feedback for improvement. Gradually expose yourself to situations that trigger your limiting beliefs. Taking small steps outside your comfort zone builds resilience.
3. External Influences
We live in a world bombarded by societal expectations and cultural norms. These external pressures can shape your beliefs about success, happiness, and worthiness. So it’s crucial to discern which beliefs serve you and which are simply opinions you don’t need to take on.
A big one that I see, is that once you’ve committed to a career you can’t change because you are “too far in” to start over. Try telling that to these people who started their careers later in life. Colonel Sanders (60s), Vera Wang (40s), or Stan Lee (40s).
It’s never too late to start over.
3 Ways to Identify When They Start Forming
The key to dismantling limiting beliefs lies in the recognition of them as they begin to form. Here are a few indicators that a limiting belief might be taking root:
1. Negative Self-Talk
Take a moment right now and listen to your internal dialogue. Observe the chatter in your mind. How do you talk to yourself? Are you consistently negative and undermining your abilities? This is a surefire way to cultivate a limiting belief.
Challenge your beliefs. Practice asking yourself “Who told you that?”. If you can’t answer that with a credible source, then you know it’s your mind creating a fictional movie.
Replace negative thoughts with positive and empowering statements. Instead of telling yourself “I can’t do this”, try “I can’t do this, yet” or even “I got this”. Our words are powerful. Once you learn the ability to reframe your thoughts and experiences, there is nothing that can stand in your way. So far, I’ve found NLP to work the best with my clients when it comes to this.
2. Fear and Avoidance
Ah, fear the offspring of your limiting beliefs. If you find yourself avoiding challenges or opportunities due to fear, it’s time to investigate what underlying beliefs are triggering these reactions. Fear of failure can mask itself as staying in your comfort zone. While your comfort zone may feel safe, it’s not the place where you’ll meet your potential. In the guise of safety, you limit all the possibilities available to you that await outside your comfort zone.
3. Procrastination
A common manifestation of limiting beliefs is procrastination. Whether you consciously or unconsciously believe you will fail or that your efforts won’t be good enough, you find excuses to delay or avoid tasks altogether. Procrastination often stems from a limiting belief that you’re not capable of success.
I used to be the master of procrastination. I would wait until the last minute to finish any assignment I had. Whenever I got my grades back, I would say to myself, oh I would have done better had I not completed it at the last minute. I was scared that if I tried my hardest and didn’t get that ‘ideal’ grade, then it would reinforce my limiting belief that I wasn’t smart enough. This gave me an ‘out’ or an excuse for any failure; it wasn’t because I wasn’t smart enough, it was simply I procrastinated.
Strategies for Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
While I’ve already mentioned a few strategies above. Here are some that I share with my clients that help to curb disempowering thoughts.
- Self-Reflection: Reflect and identify patterns of negative self-talk. Journaling is a great technique for this. By writing down your thoughts you can uncover underlying limiting beliefs and recognize when they emerge. Think of journaling as a pressure release valve for your brain.
- Set Realistic Goals: Instead of setting overwhelming goals, break them down into smaller, manageable steps. Achieving these smaller goals builds confidence and disproves limiting beliefs. We lose our confidence and self-esteem when we break promises to ourselves. Make sure your words mean something. Learn more about it in this article.
- Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This reinforces a positive mindset. Similar to training a puppy. If you don’t reinforce their good behaviors like not peeing on the carpet, they don’t recognize those behaviors as things they should do.
- Visualization: Visualization is a way to access your subconscious mind. The part of our brain where we process real experiences and the part that imagines are right next door to each other. No coincidences there. By picturing yourself succeeding and achieving your goals you can reshape your mindset.
- Find your community: I can’t stress enough how important it is to find people you can be your real self with. Not the version you think will fit the mold. Having external perspectives can provide valuable insights and encouragement.
- Balance Continuous Learning with taking action: Embrace a growth mindset by viewing challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. Have the attitude of a learner but balance it with the act of doing. Learning can keep you in your comfort zone if you don’t apply it in real life. Taking action is a powerful way to overcome any limiting beliefs and build self-confidence.
- Limit Negative Inputs: A simple one but often overlooked. Minimize exposure to negative influences, whether media, people, or situations that reinforce limiting beliefs. Replace them with positive self-talk, affirmations, or inputs.
Closing Thoughts
Overcoming limiting beliefs is a gradual process that requires patience and persistence. Consistently applying these strategies and fostering a positive mindset will contribute to a healthier and more empowering belief system over time. Nobody is just naturally positive, they cultivate it over time. By being conscious of your mental garden and pulling out the weeds of limiting beliefs, you create space for your self-belief to flourish. Replace your limiting beliefs with seeds of confidence, courage, and optimism. This ongoing process is similar to weeds in a garden. You have to check every once in a while that no new weeds are sprouting.