Have you ever gone through challenges in life that have left you more confused and unsure about yourself or where you’re headed in life? (cough, all my 20’s) Upon reflection and reading the book Principles by Ray Dalio, I realized I had approached most of my challenges in a sub-optimal way. While being so focused on the challenge, I overlooked a vital point of why they had occurred in the first place. Because I lacked clarity on my values. Without knowing what my values were, I wasn’t able to enact my principles in those situations, which over time led me down a path that wasn’t right for me. Principles govern your behaviors, they are the things you consistently do in order to uphold your values.
What Are Principles Anyway?
Principles are the fundamental beliefs that guide your decisions, actions, and behaviors. Essentially your personal code of conduct that acts like a compass, steering you in the right direction especially when times get murky. A principle is a rule you have determined for yourself to ensure you maintain your values in challenging situations. Principles are the foundation of your character and provide the framework for how you want to show up in the world. For example, the principle of the value Openness – means being receptive to new ideas, feedback, and information while being open to adapting and learning.
4 Main Reasons They Are So Important
Principles act as a filter for your decisions, allowing you to determine what’s important and what’s not, keeping you grounded in your values. When you have a clear set of principles, you’re better equipped to make life choices that steer clear of any paths that clash with who you are or are striving to be. Your principles become the cornerstone of having peace of mind, they are the glue that holds your internal and external worlds in coherence.
Here’s why they are so important:
Resilience: Principles provide an anchor during challenging times. They offer you a sense of purpose and motivation to push through difficulties, keeping you resilient in the face of adversity. Acting consistently from your principles will allow you to increase your capacity to prepare for, recover, and adapt in the face of challenging situations.
Clarity in Decision-Making: When you’re faced with a tough choice, your principles act as the road best aligned for you, helping you stay true to your values and yourself. They allow you to see the forest from the tree. Instead of following what others are doing, you can choose what’s most important for you.
Build Trust: Maintained principles promote consistency in your actions. They ensure that you respond to similar situations in a predictable and reliable manner, which not only builds trust within yourself that leads to higher self-esteem but also builds trust from others. Recall cognitive dissonance from my other article ‘I’m not a bitch, you should see my mum’.
Be Inspiring: When others see you living by strong principles, you become a source of inspiration. Your actions speak louder than words, and people are drawn to those who stand by their beliefs and act in a manner that reflects those beliefs.
Cultivating Your Own Principles In 4 Steps
Step 1: Identify Your Values
- Take a moment to reflect on your experiences, values, and beliefs. They will provide the foundation for your core principles. See my previous article on Values.
- Know your Why.
- What matters most to you? And why is it important?
- What do you believe in?
- This can be related to your spirituality, politics, or philosophy. Some typical values include honesty, integrity, respect, kindness, and courage, but there are many others.
How you measure these values will determine what your principles are. For example if “integrity” is a core value of yours, measure that by asking yourself, am I truly honest? Do I follow through on my promises? Can I admit when I’m wrong and not make excuses? Do I uphold these values even when nobody’s looking? Ask yourself these questions as you interact with others, but more importantly when you interact with yourself. If you can uphold all those things for others, but neglect to do it for yourself, you are not fulfilling your principle of acting with integrity.
After you have taken time to reflect and write down what your core values are, set clear intentions. Our intentions drive actions. Before making decisions, pause and ask yourself: “Does this align with the principles I’ve set out for myself?” When you’re about to spill the beans on the latest gossip you heard about ol mate, ask yourself “Does this line up with my principle of integrity?”
Step 2: Seek Inspiration
Utilize others. Whether it’s people you know or people you know of, look for guidance in those who inspire you, and more importantly those who don’t. Sometimes the biggest lessons we learn are from the people who have wronged us the most. The managers who made your life hell, the ex’s that degraded your self-worth or the friends who probably were never your friends to begin with. There is a lot to be learned from how you do not want to be treated.
On the other hand, look for people who you aspire to be like. Borrow their thought patterns, actions, and what they value, then emulate those qualities. A lot of the time they have learned the hard lessons so that you don’t have to. Let their wisdom nudge you closer to understanding the principles that resonate with you the most.
If you do not have anyone you look up to, think about what kind of impact you want to make on the world. Then find who has done it before, how they’ve done it, and what they did to accomplish what you aspire to do, then mirror it.
Step 3: Take Action & Learn
There’s an old saying that when you ask God for qualities such as patience, he doesn’t give you patience, he gives you opportunities to practice being patient. So the lesson is to never ask for patience, it’s a painful lesson! Ha. But in all seriousness, the underlying lesson here is to take action and practice. Principles are created through the actions you take in each situation to ensure those actions align with your values.
The best way to find what your principles are is to learn from your past mistakes. Reflect back on your muff-ups, understand what went wrong and what you’d do differently now. They say only when you can reflect on your past without feeling the pain of those mistakes, have you gathered that wisdom. Those mistakes help forge your principles that turn into your wisdom.
Part of taking action and learning is also about refining what works and what doesn’t. When you practice your principles consistently, make sure to adjust them as needed based on your outcomes and feedback. Principles aren’t meant to be stagnant, which leads us to our last point.
Step 4: Redefine & Evolve
Since your principles are the actions you take to uphold your values, they will change as your values change. Review your list of values and beliefs regularly and refine them as needed. Reflect on how they’re guiding your choices and actions. Over time, your principles may shift or evolve as you grow and learn more about yourself and the world around you. Embrace the fluidity of your values and allow your principles to adapt along the way. Sometimes you’ll have to redefine your principles to align with who you now want to become.
And Finally…
Small Steps, Big Impact. By living out your principles every day, you’ll start understanding what to say yes to and what to say no to. Your principles will help you get comfortable being in your own skin and help you not be afraid of asking for what you want. Start by integrating one principle at a time. Gradually, these small shifts will lead to the embodiment of a new life or a life that reflects a more intentional way of living – one that you’ve actively created for yourself. Your principles ensure you are actually living out your values, rather than your values being some ethereal wish list that’s out of grasp. As you take hold of your principles and become an active participant in your life, watch how your life transforms into the next version of the person you’ve been wanting to become.